下一站-彩虹？

这个post,是蛮久以前写了个开头，就不了了之了。。觉得这个标题很好，很恰当。

在香港搭地铁，在到达每一站前播音系统会把下一站的名字告知大家。就像新加坡的Next Station-Clementi一样。香港的呢，是“下一站-。。。？”

不知道上帝的安排，心中的忐忑，因为自己离上帝有一点距离。上帝安排给我的下一站，是彩虹吗？我不知道。我也不知道明天会带来什么。虽然我知道谁掌管明天，虽然我知道无论高山低谷，主已为你我预备；但心中，仍然有着自私，不肯放手的地方。

就仿佛像一个不听话的小孩，就知道爸爸即将回到家里一样，明明知道爸爸无论是安慰，无论指责被，都是为自己好。可是，自己又不想屁股开花。

是奖赏？是惩罚？是安慰？是带领？

嗯，能得知的一个结论就是，还是乖乖的祷告吧。无论如何，乖乖的祷告，at least 心里有个准备。。。

MS Surface

Got this from Pauline's blog on multiply. Seems quite cool, but couldn't wait until the whole thing loads as i was rather sleepy. The player was not showing up, so i switched to using youtube instead.

那時他們才信

Picked up an old devotional book today, it's titled <荒漠甘泉>. The words in today's reading indeed somehow talked to me, even reprimanding me. May the good LORD have mercy.

七月二十四日

『那時他們才信了祂的話，歌唱讚美祂。等不多時，他們就忘了祂的作為，不仰望祂的指教，反倒在曠野大起慾心，在荒地試探上帝。祂將他們所求的賜給他們，卻使他們的心靈軟弱。』（詩一百零六篇十二至十五節）

我們曾讀過摩西，『他恆心忍耐，如同看見那不能看見的主』（來11：27）。在上面一段記載裏，我們又看見以色列人和摩西剛好相反。他們只會在環境順利的時候歌唱讚美上帝；環境一改變，信心也隨著改變了。他們原應該安息在那看不見的永生上帝裏面的，可是他們卻被四圍物質的東西統治了。

有一群基督徒，他們的生活時冷、時熱；時高、時低；這是甚麼原因呢？就是因為他們被物質的東西佔住了，他們本該以上帝為中心的，卻去以環境為中心了。上帝願意我們在每一件事物上都看見祂，凡帶有祂信息的事物，一件都不能忽略。

剛才我們讀過以色列人，『那時他們才信了祂的話。』他們一直不信－直到看見了上帝的工作以後才信。當他們行近紅海的時候，他們對上帝還是懷疑的；但是當上帝為他們開了路，帶領他們過去，讓他們看見法老和他的全軍被水淹沒了－『那時他們才信。』

他們一直過著一上一下的生活，這是一種倚靠環境的心。這種信心，不是上帝所喜悅的。世界告訴我們應當『見而信』，但是上帝要我們『信而見』。寫詩篇的人說：『我若不信在活人之地得見耶和華的恩惠，就早已喪膽了』（詩27：12）。

親愛的讀者，你是單在環境順利的時候信上帝呢，還是不論環境怎樣，你總是信祂呢？－C. H. P.

信心是相信我們所不見的，信心的酬報，就是得見我們所相信的。－奧古斯丁（St. Augustine）

Last day

Clementi Lights

I took these pictures in Clementi. Probably it's because of Singapore's National Day, but these lights resemble Christmas (Orchard Road Style) more than National Day.

CeMNet - last official day

Yes, today was the last official day of work for me in CeMNet. And surprisingly enough, i don't have much to talk about it. Just to note and jot it down, for the record.

I will still be going back, on a goodwill basis. As prof Clement seem to still have something for me to do. Perhaps for another week or so.

And i am down with a cold. The weather was quite bad. Maybe it's because i'm sick, so my brain isn't working that well.

Guess i'll just end it here.

CeMNet (III)

It's already 2:39AM, Somehow i just don't feel like sleeping. So, while listening to the music of "Simply Loving You" by SOP, maybe i would just write another post about my 2 years in CeMNet.

It was a period of ups and downs. However, there is one period of time, that is really worth remembering. I call it the time when i seperated fruits from mp3 players.

Somewhere in april or may last year, after the ACM Multimedia 2006 conference, Clement held a meeting with me and 2 other students. He shared with us the advancements and what others in image processing research have been doing. One of the thing he shared was that Microsoft Research Asia has come up with a way to intelligently organize the search result of a image search.

Let me give you an example (and some might have heard this for many many times). Suppose a person googles the word "apple" to search for images. He might get a mixture of fruits, ipods, and Fiona Apple. So MSRA has developed a system to seperate the results of images into different clusters of meaningful groups. And so, i'm supposed to build on top of this, and be better than them.

It was horrible. Period.

I remembered i only went back once in a few months when the sun was just setting. Other than that, it was either the last bus, or 240. Most of the time i got back at around 2-3AM, and went straight back to work at 8AM. And deadline after deadline, problems after problems, it was just plain terrible. Boss gave me the look like he never saw anyone more stupid than i am. My work was constantly the subject of ridicule. What to do? I'm just a freshgraduate back then, trying to start to do some research. I developed bossophobia. That by walking pass his office, would give me such a scare in my heart everytime.

My paper was accepted. At the PacificRim Conference on Multimedia 2006. It was a conference with an acceptance rate of 15%. Honestly speaking, i had to admit that i was fortunate to be accepted. But boss replied me this after he received the news "Congratulations, but i was surprised". Apparently he was more upset that another better paper by other students was rejected. This could be due to poor reviewers giving random reviews, and as it goes, i just got lucky. Anyway, it just felt bad for me. (And this is only part of the story)

At the end of the day, i decided to quit my masters. Seeing no light at where i am currently. Boss also supported my decision. To be fair to boss, he was just being pragmatic. I have too many commitments, and i have indeed wasted too much of my time on useless stuff as well. It was sad indeed for me back then at around January this year when i decided to quit.

Call me stupid, if you will. I have taken this path, instead of what could be better or worse, considering the fact that i could be with A*Star's I2R, Lucas Films and so on (who gave me, or wanted to have an interview with me). But i must admit that i have learned through this experience, hopefully.

I always wondered and envied my peers. Those who went to uni together with me. Some of them working really well as an aerospace engineer, flying here and there to repair airplanes; as a banker in Switzerland; as a Statistician and an Investor earning big bucks; or even as my roommate who complains of how bad his pay is, and is getting SGD3800 per month.

It remains a scar in my heart. Have to pull it out. Or just plain forget about it. People like me sometimes fall into the trap of blaming others for their own misfortune. I must admit that i have failed, and i was the one who made the wrong moves and yes, i have to pay for it.

I guess i will have to rise again after i fall. Pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

CeMNet (II)

The place i work in is named CeMNet. The boss i work for is called Clement. Furthermore, i live in Clementi. What a coincidance. CeMNet is short for Centre for Multimedia and Network Technology, and is one of the largest research lab in the School of Computer Engineering, Nanyang Technological University.

Since this post is not just an intro of the lab, i'll be adding in my own opinions and comments about the place.

Firstly, it's partitioned to many cubicles. And the walls are indeed tall. Perfect for some reclusive researcher, or some slacker who is playing WarCraft, watching TV or sleeping. The students takes up the majority of the place, while we staff sit at one corner of our own. This again leaves me seperated from my whole research group.

Oh ya, you can have a look at my lab. I was in charge of taking care of the web cam to our lab. http://155.69.254.94/FYPWeb/SCE03-257/JVCCam.aspx (Haha) You can zoom in and out, and rotate the camera. If nothing appears on your screen, just refresh the browser.

Day in day out, i was at this lab, working (um...ya.. working). In fact, the lab itself was indeed quite a boring place, that i can't really think of what to write about it. Maybe, i'll talk about my other friends in the lab next time around.

One more week to go

It's thursday today. And this marks the starting of the last 7 days for me in CeMNet. I'll be leaving (on a jetplane?) next thursday. Probably it would be appropreate for me to write something in rememberance of the lab. Maybe i'll start off with the people in the lab.

This section outlines the people whom i have working relationship with (relax, everything will be politically correct, if you want the juicy version, email me):

1. Dr. Clement. My boss. What am i supposed to say? A straightforward person, who sometimes forgets things. Working with him, i have learned to be always pro-active, noting and jotting things down, and perfection.
2. Ms Oh and Ms Chua. The 2 lab executives (as they call it) of our lab. Typical Singapore law by law style. Everything must have a purpose, everything must be in black and white. By doing so, they do (in some sense) ensure that things don't get out of hand. (Must always be careful)
3. PET-DEVICE++ group members. Zhou Chen, Xu Min, Yi Haoran, Wang Huan, Chu Yang, Wang Surong, Hu Yiqun, Liu Song. All PRC. I was the only Malaysian in the team. Thank God for me being able to speak Mandarin. If not for them, my life would indeed be more difficult. Thanks for the help guys.
4. Cleaning Auntie. There were 2 aunties throughout my period in CeMNet. The first one was in some way, very cool. An old lady with very very few words (if any). The second was more friendly and approachable. Always keep the place clean and tidy for us. Thanks

That's all for now. Updates later.

dot dot dot ..... .... ... .. .

It's 1:44am now.

Somehow it just felt not right for a nice cozy sleep after that game of tennis. I reache home at about 11, did some things that i normally do, and some that i don't normally do. Watched the latest episode of 'On the first beat', read 'Our Daily Bread', the 'Bible in one year', prayed and now, blogging.

I have to update, at least just as a keepsake for my good old online journal. Journal is a nice word to use. Better than a blogpost, or a diary entry. 'Jour' is 'day' in French, where we have Bon Jour = Good Day, and Journey = a day's travel. Journal would roughly be a day's keepsake, perhaps.

Finding a job can be hard, or it can be easy. Sometimes it is just our point of view, and what we want from it. Money? Experience? Lessons? Life? Livelihood? Teamwork? Friends? I guess i have to organize and be clear of what i want, before i ram into anything that comes by. Money seems to be an issue, with my current financial state, yup, i would really love more money. (yeah, some of us will argue otherwise, saying i should not need so much anyway, yada yada yada...). Career advancement? I don't know. What i like to do most, might not be something that i deem able to contribute to society in a very positive way. (if you guys know what i wanted...)

Anyway,still finding. Still waiting for interviews, waiting for results, waiting for the time to pass out from CeMNet.

Note to self: must be more positive, must be more pro-active, must take on life's problems and "settle-kan dia" (Malay-English for Singlish's 'Settle it')

Writer's block. Don't know what to write liao (oops, singlish coming in). Sianz man. And yet i'm still feeling strong and awake.

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a poor farmer and his son. The poor farmer worked very hard everyday, to make ends meet, and to ensure that his son gets a good education.

The chlid was very hardworking and diligent, spending many hours of his days to study, and eventually went to college.

What do you think happend to this child? What do you think that will befall the poor old farmer?

...