Friday, April 27, 2007

Pligrim's Progress [1] 天路历程

As I walked through the wilderness of this world, I lighted on a certain place where was a den, [3] and laid me down in that place to sleep; and as I slept, I dreamed a dream. I dreamed, and behold, I saw a man clothed with rags, standing in a certain place, with his face from his own house, a book in his hand, and a great burden upon his back. Isa 64:6; Luke 14:33; Psalm 38:4. I looked and saw him open the book, and read therein; and as he read, he wept and trembled; and not being able longer to contain, he brake out with a lamentable cry, saying, “What shall I do?” Acts 2:37; 16:30; Habak 1:2,3.
In this plight, therefore, he went home, and restrained himself as long as he could, that his wife and children should not perceive his distress; but he could not be silent long, because that his trouble increased. Wherefore at length he brake his mind to his wife and children; and thus he began to talk to them: “O, my dear wife,” said he, “and you the children of my bowels, I, your dear friend, am in myself undone by reason of a burden that lieth hard upon me; moreover, I am certainly informed that this our city will be burnt with fire from heaven; in which fearful overthrow, both myself, with thee my wife, and you my sweet babes, shall miserably come to ruin, except (the which yet I see not) some way of escape can be found whereby we may be delivered.” At this his relations were sore amazed; not for that they believed that what he had said to them was true, but because they thought that some frenzy distemper had got into his head; therefore, it drawing towards night, and they hoping that sleep might settle his brains, with all haste they got him to bed. But the night was as troublesome to him as the day; wherefore, instead of sleeping, he spent it in sighs and tears. So when the morning was come, they would know how he did. He told them, “Worse and worse:” he also set to talking to them again; but they began to be hardened. They also thought to drive away his distemper by harsh and surly carriage to him; sometimes they would deride, sometimes they would chide, and sometimes they would quite neglect him. Wherefore he began to retire himself to his chamber to pray for and pity them, and also to condole his own misery; he would also walk solitarily in the fields, sometimes reading, and sometimes praying: and thus for some days he spent his time.
我在旷野里行走,来到一个地方,那里有个洞穴,我就在 那儿躺下睡觉:我睡熟了,做了一个梦。

唉,我梦见一个衣衫褴褛的人站在那儿, 背后就是他自己的房子, 他手里拿着一本书, 背上背着一件看来很重的东西。 我见他打开手上的一本书念着;他一面念,一面不住地流泪, 浑身颤抖着;他委实控制不住了,发出一声悲伤的呼喊:“我 该怎么办呢?”

就在这样极度苦恼的境况中,他转身回家去了。他强自压 制着,以免他的妻子和儿女们发觉他的悲痛;可是他不能长久 保持缄默,因为他的烦恼越来越厉害了。他终于把他的心事告 诉了妻子和儿女,他对他们这样说:“唉,我亲爱的妻子,你 们,我的亲生儿女,我是你们亲爱的友伴,我可要被那压在我 身上的重负毁了;并且我确实知道我们这个城市将要给天火烧 毁;在那场可怕的灾难里,我自己,你,我的妻子,和你们, 我可爱的儿女,都将同归于尽,除非我们能够想出一个逃生的 办法,可是到如今我还想不出什么办法来。”他家中的人听了 这番话,好生诧异;这并非因为他们相信他的话,而是他们认 为他的神经错乱了;因此,等到傍晚天快黑的时侯,他们希望 睡眠能够使他的神经镇静下来,就急忙打发他去睡觉。但是对他说来,黑夜和白天同样烦恼;因此,他不但睡不着觉,而且 整夜的叹息、流泪。后来,天亮了,他们急着要知道他的情形。 他告诉他们,更糟,更糟。他又开始对他们讲话;可是他们开 始狠起心来了。他们还想用强硬粗暴的态度来驱除他的怪病; 有时他们愚弄他,有时责骂他,有时根本不理睬他。因此他就 回到自己的房间里去为他们祈祷,一心的怜悯他们,同时他也 为自己的痛苦寻求安慰;他还独个儿在田野里徘徊,有时候看 书,有时候祈祷;他就这样度过了好多日子。

有一天我看见他在田地里走着,照常看着书,显出满怀痛 苦的神气;他一面看书,一面又那样大声喊着:“我怎么才能 得救呢?”

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Pictures...

Some photos i found off the net, do tell me which one you all liked the most. Somehow i turned out to like photography, but wasn't really able to become really good at it. Never put in the effort i guess.

(i'm not the copyright holder of these images, if they belong to someone who is not willing to share, i'll take them down)





今日真系好闷。咩o也都作吾到。真系好晒时间啊。。。
o感闷,闷到要用广东话o黎写blog

本来系要帮个PhD学生做一个网页,但系o巨俾的资料又唔够。所以就要email o巨..又要等。。。

Friday, April 20, 2007

Sick

Among many illustrations in the Bible, i personally loved the picture of us being fallen, being sick patients waiting to be healed, and Jesus, God as the great healer.

A writer once said something like this, looking at the cruel history of Christianity, of all the roads that this faith has walked, all the sumbling blocks, all the detours, we can conclude that we are no better than any body else. But here's the main point, Christians aren't a group of elite people on earth, we are just a group of sick people, admitting we need help. All men have indeed fallen, and it's just by God's grace that we were once blind, but can now see that we are sick, and in need of help.

The Church today has many many denominations, some mock and hate each other, some greedy for money, some stay "super holy", some stay "super secular", and the list goes on. The Word of God itself, while some say there must be a representative to interprete, while other say it's Sola Scriptura. Fractions. In chinese the word to use is 一盘散沙。

At the end of the day, one thing i still hold fast is the absoluteness of God. He will judge and tell one day, who has been faithful to him, and who has been faithful to themselves. And it's no easy task for us to differentiate. An act of helping us to worship better, might be a selfish act in itself, for instance. I'm not getting into any topics now.

God must be very dismayed. It's already a few thousand years, for God's sake. But this just serves to prove that we, are indeed sick, and gravely ill. Spiritually. God's love is indeed great, and it's depth, can only be more then what's enough to take on the sea of our sins, betrayal, disrespect, dischord, and again, the list goes on.

Dear Lord, you came to heal us. Jer 3:22 Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Jer 3:22 你們這背道的兒女啊,回來吧!我要醫治你們背道的病。 But it's going to take our whole lifetime for it. Forgive us O Lord. Do You weep in heaven for us? Dear Lord, all the more we know we cannot come to You by our own fallen, limited understanding. Yet, the Holy Spirit seems so elusive to us. May we also act on what we can dear Lord. May our every step, be as an offering to You. Forgive us. Heal us.

In Jesus' Name. Amen

Thursday, April 19, 2007

hmm....

It's been some time since i last posted something solid (or did i ever?). Probably i was occupied with a couple of things i guess.

Many things happened around the world as well. As well as poeple around me. We have a couple of shootings, a serious road accident, a case of cancer, a case of critical diabetes, exams, and the list goes on.

I also have some issues of my own too. Been feeling kinda down lately. Not exactly up and running. Work also have been stalled.

Can i conclude that this is a bad week? Can i say that this is one lousy week?

But this is just how we response, isn't it? While some people just can't seem to find a reason to cheer up, maybe i can? Maybe i can smile and hold my head up high, without being a bit Ah Q? You can, yes indeed, in fact, there are a few ways to it.

You can be a "can't-be-bothered" person. As long as these things doesn't happen to ourselves, why care? Who cares anyway?

You can be stupid. Yup, a stupid person couldn't even comprehend, much less feel for it.

You can be a person that sees all these as necessary. Just like a doctor who is helping a patient clean his wounds, the pain that the patient feels is an indication that the medication is indeed being applied at the right spot.

You can also believe that God is in control. And trust that His wisdom is far more greater than ours. And believe that, although we might not make sense of what is happening, but if we have our hope and trust in Him, we can indeed have peace.

I have not posses any of the above. i wish can be in the last category. But at the meantime, we struggle, we press on. Yup, there will be times when we are tired, then we rest. The road of pilgrimage is one bumpy journey, no less difficult.

P.S. i have yet to deal with all the issues i have mentioned at the beginning of this post.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Yet another day

Feeling a bit drowsy today, as i had not enough sleep yesterday. So thought of posting an image that somewhat reflects my mood today (joking...)

Just in some of you didn't get the idea of what i'm talking about, look at the signboard of the coffee shop.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

On the lookout

Received an email this morning. A church elder sent an email to his church, calling all to go and support Benny Hinn. As he's in Singapore this coming weekend?


Anyway, i have heard about this guy before. Mostly negative. Do i want to tell you the negative stuff? There's a video that i found, very disturbing. Decided not to put here.

Anyway, I am also reminded that we must be careful not to judge too soon. If this guy is really working by the Holy Spirit, then we say bad things about it... must be careful. (Mark 3:29..hm...)
At the end of the day, this whole issue is not exactly about Mr Hinn. It's more about how do we stand. Yes, how do we stand.

How firm are our Biblical values? How sure are we of our Biblical knowledge? How much has it affected our lives, and the lives of our friends and loved ones? We can't just go around telling people that this person is false and that person is false, while we don't know the reason. But what do we do in the meantime? Do we just accept everything? Reject everything? Points to ponder i suppose.

I'm leaving this topic open. Eyes getting a bit droopy now. Should sleep.
P.S. I viewed my blog after i published this. The more i look at the video, the more i find it disturbing. (Most probably due to the music...bad music. Bad.) I'll probably be taking this post down (at least the video...) anytime soon.

Monday, April 09, 2007

基督教信仰与世界宗教及文化


Definately mind opening and intense. I'll be trying my best to be there. Join me? (Oh, you will need to click on the image to enlarge it.)

nothing

It's Monday.

A whole new week ahead. As i review my week, somehow i lack words to describe it. A little bit of everything i suppose.

However, i guess it's time to put a temporal halt to the gloomy emo blog posts. I'm not a motivator, i'm just a pilgrim, a struggling person on his way.

Anyway, a new week is about to dawn, and i guess it's going to be quite a busy week. Have quite a bit to do at work as well.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Response

Fools.

This is the word that describes us humans. Homo sapiens. Why, if Eve would know she was getting this kind of wisdom, would she eat it? It's a pretty bad deal, isn't it? Only us fools would be so gullible to believe. (A side note, and I'm again not saying anything bad about salesmen, but just an observation) We still do make the same choices now, don't we? We see television ads promising slim bodies, cleaner clothes, easier life, "at a very low price of SGD XX.XX" "CALL NOW!" We do, let's just admit it shall we?

But behind this, behind all these, i see that we are normally the passive ones. Like sheep, we wait, like it or not, we wait. We wait to be fed, wait to be chased by those pesky border collies to the open meadows, wait to be chased back, wait to be shaved, wait. In other words, we respond.

So how good do we fare? With our fallen nature, and fallen mind, my guess is that we have all failed. God gave us chances to grow, to be loved by Him. He prepared a spiritual family for us, He prepared ministry for us, He prepared so much for us. The so-called "green pastures". Yet, we respond in two ways...

like swines, we prefer to play with dirt. And believe me, dirt can be very fun. (figuratively speaking of course. By the way, scientific reports show that dirt makes people happy by working just the same as anti depressants)

like sheep, we wait until someone kicks us, until someone whoops us. And when that happen, we turn around, "huh?"-ed, and continue to stay put at our present state.

God so love the world, that He gave His only begotten Son. We happily receive, celebrates His birthday (with someone else, sometimes) and move on with our lives. So nice of buying a spiritual insurance. Leaving you without worries so you can go on and live life, your own way. We are saved, aren't we?


When will God's love grind our hearts so deep, until all the "old self" oozes out, completely? Do i really want to hit rock bottom before turning into a spiritual person? Do we all really wanted it this way? When will grace be really amazing in our hearts? When will it be etched so deeply in us? I thought we were once blind, but now we see? Isn't this what Newton sang? Then WE BECAME SHORT SIGHTED AGAIN, SEVERELY. So sad, isn't it?

So, the Great Physician, really is very great indeed. Greater then human understanding, if not we would say that He have failed. Very patient indeed. Well, of course time didn't matter to Him (besides the 33 years here..), but the heartache is really for Him i guess. Forgive us Lord, for we know not what we do.

The bottom line is, when will we be burning, like the bush that Moses saw, burning, but not consumed, potentially burning to eternity?

At the end of the day, Jesus did told us, that He is the Way. Way, meaning, a passage to carry one through, scientifically from point A to point B. Now, if the end point is perfect, then, we are imperfect, let's just make sure we are heading in the right direction, shall we?

P.S. Thanks to JJ and KP for replying. Listening ears are great. =)

Friday, April 06, 2007

Good Friday -- Part 2

It's already 1057pm. I'm trying to type despite the fact that i don't seem to have much to type. Nothing concrete, nothing of a form, nothing of enough substance. Nevertheless, i guess there are a few thoughts that i would like to ponder, and here's probably the place to think out loud.
It's Good Friday. In Jewish terms, it's already the second day. There's a name for this Saturday, is it Holy Saturday? Palm Sunday, Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday and finally Easter Sunday. Wonder the fact that i don't think many of us know this (i must confess that i don't know, just checked it out on the net, a lame joke was that i thought Maundy was Monte..you know... Monte Carlo...hmm... imagine the difference in meaning...).
Somehow i have the idea that we should commemorate this day, and when people don't do that "for the whole day", i feel it's just not right. Of course, this event of our Lord being crucified should be commemorated each and every day, and not just 1 single day of the whole year. Then, somehow i feel it's just a bit not right. Let me just share from 4 events/thoughs i had today. A Classical Piece, A Good Friday Service, A part cell group part gospel rally, and Christmas.
There was supposed to be a cell group (i'm not telling which group) gathering today. And a person in the cell group emailed and say that he/she will not be going, and will rather spend time listening to Beethoven's Missa Solemnis. Some thought it was a book. I didn't think much about this, but coming to think of it, Beethoven writing a book? I went online to check and see, well, it's a classical piece that Beethoven composed and liked alot. Point: it's 17 minutes long (forgive me if i'm wrong). I either have to admire this person's ability to contemplate this song for the whole afternoon (i slept while listening to it), or to admire his/her straight forward attitude in rejecting "not so benificial" gatherings. (Again, i'm making judgements here, he/she might not be thinking this way). Anyway, exams are coming up soon. Or i'll have to dislike his/her style of being a little snobbish. (yes, i'm making judgement here again, please do not follow my example...)
Went to my Church's service this morning. Was late, as i was watching a drama serial downloaded on my computer. Was sleepy throughout the service. This serves as a reminder how weak i am. Emotional one minute, indifference the next. Well done.
Went to the abovementioned cell group in the afternoon. Somehow i find it a bit hard to play games in Good Friday. I was a little apprehensive at first when reading the email, as there will be ice breaking games as this is a combined cell group gathering. At the end of the day, it turned out to be a Gospel rally of some sorts, and i guess it was all in all ok. But still, no mention of Good Friday, except for the question: Do you know what day is today? But as i said, as i said, it was a good gathering, with some indepth thinking for some new friends watching a documentary, as well as sharing from some brothers and sisters.
Lastly, been thinking a bit about Christmas and Easter. See the difference in the acceptance level of the general public between Christmas and Easter?
Anyways, Good night, and Good friday.

Good Friday

This is probably one of the very few posts this year about my faith and my walk in Faith.

It's hard these days to talk about what i believe, what i struggle in. Probably because i've grown more and more away, distant from the One who love me. Probably i've become more and more cynical...more skeptical. Probably i've placed myself further away. Probably i had some arguments with Him. Probably i'm being bitter. As i shared during the post graduate cell group, i'm now a bit "unfamiliar" with Jesus.

It's sad, it's depressing. I remembered when i was better than what i am now. I remembered when i use to care. I remembered when i was less "boe chab" (couldn't care less attitude). I remembered i once was concerned for the salvation of this world. I remembered i cared and have a heart for the elderly...

Today's thursday (strictly speaking, it's already friday now). Jingjing was not feeling well today, i sent her back and let her rest early. I told her briefly of my condition, and added that i would like to watch Mel Gibson's the Passion of The Christ. I told her i was scared. I had an expectation, i expect myself to cry, to be emotional. What if i did not cry? What if i show myself to be so so so distant from God?

I slotted in the VCD. As i began to watch this film, my neighbours were outside having a good time, laughing and talking out loud. When i finished the film, my housemate was outside my room singing to TMNT. There were not exactly distractions, just a little ironic. Don't you think?

I cried.

I saw myself in that film. I saw how low human beings can go. I saw how far Jesus went for me. Words can't express what i feel. I prayed for forgiveness, for my sins, for my foolishnes...

Even as i walk away, still feeling a bit sad that one fine day, i'll go astray again (as if i'm now fine and all pretty), i have a certain peace in me. Yeah, that film was indeed very visual. Yes, this film is one that depicted my Lord's suffering to the most extreme, and it is real. Yes, i cried, i cried asking why Jesus would do such a thing for a bunch of stupid fools; i cried for seeing me as one of them; i cried, period.

But at the end of the day, after a few moments of "cooling down", i have a sense of quietness, probably a sense of numbness. But i would like to call it peace, if i can have it my way. And i thank God, for Good Friday.

Thank you Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Slow on the gratitude

Guess I'm pretty slow in praising others, or at least, in replying to others. This has been nagging in my mind for some time now and thought i would do an apology over here (although doubting the number of audience/readers).

My apologies goes out to a long list of people, let me see, there's Jane (of course), KP, mr Wong, Justin, MingZhi & MingYuan, Liyi.... hmm... and the list goes on

Yeah, it's not just an issue of slow response, i guess it's more of a numbness in me. In life, in responding to life.

Let's make things happen and change that, starting from this post, shall we?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Hand in my pocket

Finally bought the "Jagged little pill" album by Alanis Morissette. It has been a long while since i last listen to "alternative" kind of music. Well, this CD brings back some old memories, back when my brother and i used to listen to this CD over and over again (my brother loved this CD).

I was quite amazed however, at the way Alanis wrote her lyrics to most of her songs. The words that she use are plain, but yet very powerful, very descriptive, sometimes very angry, sometimes very subtle. Here's one of her songs, "Hand in my pocket"


"Hand In My Pocket"
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab