Updates

It has been some time already since i last posted anything on this blog. Few things have happened and i thought it was good for me to note it down.

JTC, my new work place. This is already the second week i'm in JTC. My first official job outside NTU (if i don't count my industrial attachement). The place has its plus points and also its not-so-plus points, according to me. But sufficient to say is that, i'm currently doing much passive work, i.e. reading, reading, reading, and sometimes listening too. Got to get familiarised with the work and the scope of things i needed to do. This can sometimes be quite boring.

Ups and downs. Have been quite emotional at times, although i tend to hide it. Expectations, set by others, set by me, set by God even. I just don't measure up. And when you ask if i have ever given my best? Nope, i rarely give my best. Maybe second best, possibly. So how can i be contented with myself? The inner struggle is strong. All i want is just peace. Peace, is it that hard to attain?

I recall many stories heard and learned...

One was from the Bible. The disciples were worried dead when their boat was rocking like mad in a strom, Jesus just keep on sleeping. At the end the disciples were rebuked because of their lack of faith. Lesson to self: Whatever storm it may be, Jesus is always there. Although it may seems that He's not in control, but trust Him, He is definately in control.

Another one was...what was it? forgotten... just forgot...

The point is that i am dissatisfied with my life. Felt that i'm an underachiever in all things. Yes, one could comfort me in saying that i've already been so good and so on and so forth. But still, I binge eat, i sin, i don't do sports, i don't give 100% for work, i don't obey God enough, i don't treat people well and as they should be treated, i boe chub a lot. My financial status is in a mess...

And these things are not things that i don't care, or couldn't care less about, these are the things that i wanted away with from my life. Yet, they seems to be there, and progress seemed stagnant.

One thing at a time. One step at a time. That's the thing i can say. STAY POSITIVE!
Sometimes, i don't know why, but i just wanted to write these things out. I don't cry often in front of people, this is my outlet. It's like screaming in outer space, at least it's void.

Ok lah, this is just a need for me to vent/trash things out. By right should be more postive now. :P

Anyways, i have another blog, which i only post on language related stuff. So henceforth, all my language related stuff will only be posted there. This will be a more personal blog. The other blog is at wenfang.wordpress.com

Thanks. That's all for now. thanks for reading until this line.