CeMNet (III)

It's already 2:39AM, Somehow i just don't feel like sleeping. So, while listening to the music of "Simply Loving You" by SOP, maybe i would just write another post about my 2 years in CeMNet.

It was a period of ups and downs. However, there is one period of time, that is really worth remembering. I call it the time when i seperated fruits from mp3 players.

Somewhere in april or may last year, after the ACM Multimedia 2006 conference, Clement held a meeting with me and 2 other students. He shared with us the advancements and what others in image processing research have been doing. One of the thing he shared was that Microsoft Research Asia has come up with a way to intelligently organize the search result of a image search.

Let me give you an example (and some might have heard this for many many times). Suppose a person googles the word "apple" to search for images. He might get a mixture of fruits, ipods, and Fiona Apple. So MSRA has developed a system to seperate the results of images into different clusters of meaningful groups. And so, i'm supposed to build on top of this, and be better than them.

It was horrible. Period.

I remembered i only went back once in a few months when the sun was just setting. Other than that, it was either the last bus, or 240. Most of the time i got back at around 2-3AM, and went straight back to work at 8AM. And deadline after deadline, problems after problems, it was just plain terrible. Boss gave me the look like he never saw anyone more stupid than i am. My work was constantly the subject of ridicule. What to do? I'm just a freshgraduate back then, trying to start to do some research. I developed bossophobia. That by walking pass his office, would give me such a scare in my heart everytime.

My paper was accepted. At the PacificRim Conference on Multimedia 2006. It was a conference with an acceptance rate of 15%. Honestly speaking, i had to admit that i was fortunate to be accepted. But boss replied me this after he received the news "Congratulations, but i was surprised". Apparently he was more upset that another better paper by other students was rejected. This could be due to poor reviewers giving random reviews, and as it goes, i just got lucky. Anyway, it just felt bad for me. (And this is only part of the story)

At the end of the day, i decided to quit my masters. Seeing no light at where i am currently. Boss also supported my decision. To be fair to boss, he was just being pragmatic. I have too many commitments, and i have indeed wasted too much of my time on useless stuff as well. It was sad indeed for me back then at around January this year when i decided to quit.

Call me stupid, if you will. I have taken this path, instead of what could be better or worse, considering the fact that i could be with A*Star's I2R, Lucas Films and so on (who gave me, or wanted to have an interview with me). But i must admit that i have learned through this experience, hopefully.

I always wondered and envied my peers. Those who went to uni together with me. Some of them working really well as an aerospace engineer, flying here and there to repair airplanes; as a banker in Switzerland; as a Statistician and an Investor earning big bucks; or even as my roommate who complains of how bad his pay is, and is getting SGD3800 per month.

It remains a scar in my heart. Have to pull it out. Or just plain forget about it. People like me sometimes fall into the trap of blaming others for their own misfortune. I must admit that i have failed, and i was the one who made the wrong moves and yes, i have to pay for it.

I guess i will have to rise again after i fall. Pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.